Through Dust and Darkness

Jeremy Kroeker is a Mennonite with a motorcycle. He doesn’t have a funny beard and he’s never even driven a buggy, but his family hails from the same Mennonite community that Miriam Toews fictionalized in A Complicated Kindness. From childhood through college, Kroeker attended Christian schools where he learned to think critically back to predetermined conclusions.

Years later, when his faith begins to unravel, Kroeker stops short of tossing it all aside, choosing instead to leave every unanswered question hanging there on the edge of his mind. He might have gotten away with it, too, except for a drunken resolution that forces the issue of God back into his life. In the fall of 2007, Kroeker decides to ride his motorcycle across Europe and into the theocratic nation of Iran... a nation ruled by God.

In the end, Kroeker finds himself on a forbidden visit to the holiest Muslim shrine in all of Iran. Once inside, invisible hands reach into Kroeker’s chest and rip from his heart a sincere prayer, his first in many years. And God hears that prayer. For before Kroeker can escape Mashhad, God steals into his hotel room one night to threaten him with death. At least, that’s one way to look at it.

Throughout the narrative, Kroeker swings from dogmatic belief in God to overwhelming doubt before finally deciding that the key to approaching God is humility. He understands that uncertainty is not only an acceptable state of mind when considering the Divine, but it is necessary. He will always fear God. But who knows? Perhaps if he keeps riding, one of these days God will speak clearly. And that frightens him, too.

Table of Contents

Table of Contents
Through Dust and Darkness 1
Acknowledgements 9
Introduction 13
Chapter 1 15
Chapter 2 19
Chapter 3 27
Chapter 4 31
Chapter 5 37
Chapter 6 43
Chapter 7 45
Chapter 8 51
Chapter 9 57
Chapter 10 59
Chapter 11 65
Chapter 12 71
Chapter 13 77
Chapter 14 81
Chapter 15 87
Chapter 16 97
Chapter 17 101
Chapter 18 103
Chapter 19 111
Chapter 20 117
Chapter 21 125
Chapter 22 129
Chapter 23 133
Chapter 24 137
Chapter 25 143
Chapter 26 147
Chapter 27 153
Chapter 28 155
Chapter 29 159
Chapter 30 165
Chapter 31 171
Chapter 32 177
Chapter 33 179
Chapter 34 185
Chapter 35 191
Chapter 36 201
Chapter 37 205
Chapter 38 209
Chapter 39 213
Chapter 40 221
Chapter 41 227
Chapter 42 233
Chapter 43 235
Photo Section 241
Chapter 44 273
Chapter 45 281
Chapter 46 283
Chapter 47 289
Chapter 48 299
Chapter 49 301
Chapter 50 307
Conclusion 315
About the Author 319